Top Fourteen Worse Church Signs…

Nov 16, 2007

WOW—a few weeks ago I asked you guys to e-mail in the worse church signs you have ever seen…I HAD NO IDEA!  So…after looking at them and evaluating I’ve narrowed it down to 15—here goes…

#14 - “CH_ _ CH - what’s missing?  U R” 

ST _ PID… :-)

#13 - “Turn before you burn!”  

Or you will cry as you fry!  WOW!
#12 - “Get saved or microwaved”  

Uh…I’ve pretty much read the entire Bible and it mentions nothing of nuclear fallout in hell!

#11 - “Read your Bible, it will scare the hell out of you.”  

Which is EXACTLY why I read my Bible!!!  I want all of the hell out of me!!!

#10 - “Staying in bed and shouting ‘Oh God’ does not constitute going to church.”  

But what about the little old lady who sleeps in the choir every Sunday…is SHE getting anything out of it?  (Have you ever seen that?)

#9 - “Get on-line with God and download your worries.”  

While I appreciate the attempt to connect with culture…IT’S UPLOAD!!!

#8 - “When you get tired of entertainment come back to church.”  

Seriously—we’re not exciting at all!!!

#7 - “Where will you be spending eternity?  Smoking or non-smoking?”  

AND…would you like a wine list?  How about a high chair?

#6 - “If you’re ashamed to say, ‘Merry Christmas’ then Jesus is ashamed of you.”  

Actually…I think He is WAY more ashamed of the hair-doos some Christians sport!

#5 - “Don’t let worries kill you—let the church help.”  

Seriously—one business meeting will just about do it!

#4 - “Bring your sins to the alter and drop ‘em like they’re hot.”  

Nothing like using a Snoop Dog reference on the church sign!

#3 - “Stop, drop and roll doesn’t work in hell.”  

Neither do air conditioners and ice makers!

#2 - “There are no boats on the lake of fire”

I know…because if they were then they would catch on fire!!!

#1 - “A tisket, a tasket, a condom or a casket.”  This one just HAD to make God happy!!!