Ten Predictions For The Year 2009

Dec 29, 2008

You read them in all of the tabloids every single year…people make predictions for the upcoming year.  Well…a wave of inspiration has hit me…and so when the following things happen, don’t say I didn’t tell you they would!

#1 - Jeff Foxworthy will begin to attend Gary Lamb’s church in order to get more material for his next tour!

#2 - The


Carolina Panthers will contact Pastor Steven at Elevation Church to arrange their home schedule around their worship services!

#3 - Scott Hodge will discover a way to have coffee fed to him through an IV when he preaches, resulting in a new wave of church growth as people flock to hear twice as much information in half the time.

#4 - Mark Batterson will continue to chase lions, geese, aardvarks and other random animals…open 32 new campuses in the northeast…teach Starbucks how to create a cool environment in a coffee shop and be DOMINATED by me in a game of Corn Hole!!!

#5 - Bob Franquiz will be injured when a pile of books he has been reading for the past few months falls on him!  (But seriously, I’ve NEVER regretted reading a book he has recommended!)

#6 - Los will convince Andy Stanley to get a tattoo!  (OK, this one’s a stretch!!!)

#7 - Jeff Kapusta will be voted “Most metro-sexual” pastor in the US…and will celebrate by beginning a brand new line of scarfs!

#8 - Chris Elrod will fire his worship leader and begin to both preach and lead worship…but the worship will consist of rewrites of hair band songs and 80’s power ballads!

#9 - Tony Morgan will take over the internet…AND will lead the NewSpring dance team in an incredible performance at UNLEASH!!!

#10 - Cracker Barrell will once again be well loved by me because they will BRING THEIR BAKED APPLE DUMPLIN’ BACK!!!  PLEASE!!!