If I could sit down with single people one-on-one and offer them one piece of advice to remember, it would be…
Desperation In Dating Always Leads To Destruction!
How do you know you are desperate?
- You are compromising! (And if you are compromising you KNOW you are doing so!)
- You are listening to your friends more than you are listening to Jesus.
- You have placed your value in whether or not he calls and asks you out for a second date (or whether she says yes to a second date!)
- You view yourself as “damaged goods” and believe that you are not worth very much.
- You believe the myth that “I am miserable because I am single” and believe that marriage will solve all of your problems.
- You are pretending to be someone you are not because you fear if you allowed who you are to show through, the person you are dating would not like you!
- You are with a person who is leading you away from Jesus instead of closer to Him.
Desperate people rarely make good decisions. Reality is some singles reading this may be pursuing a relationship that has warning signs all over it, and instead of paying attention to those red flags, you believe that if you push through eventually the other person will become who you want them to be!
But it's just not true. The Bible says in Proverbs 22:3, “The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty.” In other words…if we see danger in something (like a dating relationship) and we pursue it anyway, then we are told there will be a penalty to pay.
The worst thing that you could do for your future spouse and children is become desperate and grab on to whoever happens to be in front of you and available.
Again, desperation in dating always leads to destruction. My prayer is that if you are wrestling with this that you would turn your desperation for a date into a desperation to hear the voice of the Lord (Jeremiah 29:13). I'd challenge you to allow God to shape your view of dating and marriage instead of letting the culture we are living in shape your outlook.
The ONE THING I know about the Lord is that HE IS GOOD…and if HE IS GOOD then so are HIS WAYS! AND whenever HIS WAYS and my ways are not the same, it is I who need to adjust my thinking (Isaiah 55:8) because in doing so there is hope, life and freedom! When we remember that there is a God in heaven who wants greater things for us than we could ever imagine, there's no need to feel desperate!