Sep 29, 2010  |  Relationships

Every Single Dude and “Dude-ett” Should Read This!!!

My friend Clayton King has a blog…and last week he wrote this article that I asked for his permission to repost here on my site because it was SO AWESOME!!!  Thanks Clayton!

Last week I taught on some practical, common sense ways to know if you should stay or walk away from the dating relationship you are pursuing.  These principles should be asked by every single girl or guy before and during a dating relationship.

Often, people will become so enamored with the idea of being in a relationship that they become brain-dead to the realities of conflicting goals, personalities, expectations, career paths, of dreams for the future.  Just because you are “in love” with someone does not mean it is wise, practical, a good idea, or the will of God that you marry them.  I will say that again…

Just because you are “in love” with someone does not mean it is wise, practical, a good idea, or the will of God that you marry them.

Here is the essential outline of the message with some questions that are worth asking.

1.  Do you constantly question the relationship?  If there is a nagging doubt that will not go away after prayer and seeking Godly counsel from respected leaders and older believers, is it really a good idea to move forward?

2.  Are you in a cycle of sexual sin?  This is the #1 fastest way to ruin a God-honoring, Christ-centered relationship.  When a couple begins messing around sexually, common sense goes out the window and lustful desire takes over.  It is very difficult to salvage a dating relationship once a cycle of sexual sin (and justifying that sin) kicks in.

3.  Is there constant drama, a daily crisis, and frequent late-night intense conversations?  Healthy relationships don’t require 6 hour long marathon cry-fests twice a week or regular arguments and conversations that last til the wee hours of the morning, unless you are in middle school.

4.  Is there spiritual inequality?  It is never a good idea for a Christian and an unbeliever to pursue a romantic relationship.  It is equally foolish to date someone who is in a completely different place in their walk with Christ.  Avoid becoming the counselor or discipler of the person you are dating.  Also avoid “missionary dating” where you fall in love first and then try to lead them to Christ.

5.  Is there complete honesty about your maturity?  How do you (or they) handle conflict?  Money?  How much time do you spend online, playing video games, entertaining yourself?  Is there an overall lack of long-term commitment in their life?  Do they act like a child or an adult in social settings or when they don’t get their way?

6.  Is there involvement and accountability from older believers?  See #1 above.  We try to do relationships alone and we suffer when we don’t involve our parents, our elders, our pastors and our trusted friends by asking for their prayer and discernment.

Are there other questions that you think should be considered when praying about your future mate? Are you asking any of these questions?

BTW…NewSpring Church…can’t WAIT to begin the marriage series on October 17th!  And singles…YES, it will be APPLICABLE to you…the best way to have a GREAT marriage is to prepare for one!!!

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