Jun 20, 2017  |  Random

This Will Make You Laugh (An Email Exchange I Had)

So...I received THIS email today (VERY INTERESTING)

I have been in search of someone with your last name ,so when I found you online, I was pushed to contact you and see how best we can assist each other. My names are XXXXXXXXX, a Bank Officer here in Malaysia. I believe it is the wish of God for me to come across you now. I am having an important business discussion I wish to share with you which I believe will interest you, because it is in connection with your last name and you are going to benefit from it.

One Late Mr.ABRAHAM.P.NOBLE a citizen of your country had a fixed deposit with my bank in January 2010 for 36 calendar months, valued at US$34,600,000.00 (Thirty Four Million, Six Hundred Thousand US Dollars) the due date for this deposit contract was the 16th of January 2013. *(BY THE WAY...I have NO FREAKING IDEA who Abraham Noble is!)

Sadly, Mr. Abraham (Late) was among the death victims in the April 14, 2010 Earthquake disaster in Yushu, China that killed over 2,000 people. He was in China on a business trip and that was how he met his end. My bank management is yet to know about his death, I knew about it because he was my friend and I am his account officer. Abraham did not mention any Next of Kin/ Heir when the account was opened (LUCKY ME!), and he was not married and no children. Last week my Bank Management requested that Abraham should give instructions on what to do about his funds, if to renew the contract. I knew this will happen since the acquisition of my bank (EON Bank) by HONG LEONG BANK GROUP in, 2011. AS YOU CAN READ ON: (SHARED THE LINK)

Since then, I have been looking for a means to handle the situation and now, because of the threatening notice from the bank, if my Bank Directors happens to know that Abraham is dead and do not have any Heir, they will not hesitate to divert the funds to their personal selfish uses, I don't want such to happen. (ME NEITHER!!!)

That is why when I saw your last name I was happy and I am now seeking your co-operation to present you as Next of Kin/ Heir to the account, since you have the same last name with him and my bank head quarters will release the account to you. (WHICH COMPLETELY MAKES SENSE!!!)

There is no risk involved (NOOOOO...WHY WOULD I THINK SUCH A THING); the transaction will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of law according to my laid down modalities. It is better that we claim the money, than allowing the Bank Directors to take it, they are rich already. (COMPLETELY AGREE!)

I am not a greedy person, so I am suggesting we share the funds equal, 50/50% to both parties, my share will assist me to touch many dying lives and also start my own company which has been my dream. (SO GLAD YOU ARE NOT GREEDY - OR YOU MIGHT ASK FOR 60/40 OF WHAT ISN’T YOURS IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!)

I still have more to write you on the followup details in my reply as soon as I read from you. Please let this Secret remain between the both of us only (OK--only me, him and FACEBOOK will know!)

Have a nice day and God bless.

I started to leave this alone--just delete it...but then decided I should respond - this is what I wrote...

Wow!!! This is absolutely amazing, definitely unexpected but SO appreciated - the fact that you would be willing to work this deal out with me makes me feel like a blessed man.

Unfortunately - I will be unavailable for the next two weeks as I am incredibly busy. You see - I am into real estate development and have just purchased some ocean front property in Arizona in which I will be building a beach resort.

After flying out to look at the property one more time I will then be traveling to meet with my business partners...Jimmy Hoffa, Elvis Presley and Michael Jackson. I know the world thinks they are dead...but they are actually on a private island in the South Pacific. There are no flights to and from the island - so I have contacted a leprechaun who was able to secure me a winged unicorn to fly to the island on.

After my trip to the island I have to stop by Neverland and check on Peter Pan and the lost boys - I began financially supporting him after I learned of the horrible conditions they have to endure under the oppressive regime of Captain Hook.

After getting back in the country I will be able to discuss this with you further. If you have any further questions you should contact my assistant, Snow White.

Thank you so much,

(Just thought it might make you laugh!)

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