This month in my leadership podcast (available on itunes) I talked about criticism and how it has evolved over the years. (BTW…“how do you deal with critics is ALWAYS the first or second question that is asked whenever I meet with groups of pastors…it IS something that leaders deal with.)
I wanted to follow up with a few thoughts by telling leaders about the type of person you should NEVER listen to…
The Heartless
You should NEVER allow the heartless critic to speak into your life…and…they are out there.
I have a really good friend (who I will not name) who strongly desired for he and his wife to have a baby…they were told they could not ever have a child but they prayed, believed God and finally he and his wife found out they were pregnant. They were SO excited…
However, about a week or so into the pregnancy they lost the baby through a miscarriage…to say that they were devastated would be an understatement.
Right after this happened my friend began receiving emails of support and encouragement…but also emails from critics (some well known) began sending him emails telling him that his loss was nothing more that God’s judgment on his life in regards to the way he had decided to lead his church. AND…not ONE of his very outspoken critics offered him any sort of support and encouragement during this time…they instead seemed to rejoice in his tragedy!
THAT WAS/IS PATHETIC! The fact that a critic would take a tragedy and use it for their “advantage” like that simply sucks. People like that are heartless…and should always be ignored. Always!
On a more personal note…my father passed away last month. I thought I was prepared…but his death hit me hard and, though it is much better, I still miss him deeply. During this time, however, there were a couple of critics that actually used the death of my father and the unfortunate circumstances surrounding his death to attack me and my style of ministry. It was cold, heartless and ungodly…and, let me say it again, people like that should always be ignored.
Anyone who will use any reason at all to attack anyone who does not agree with him or her is heartless…they lack COMPASSION, you know, that thing that Jesus had!
I’ve heard people say that there is something we can learn from every critic and therefore every critic should be listened to. I could not disagree more strongly. Because…there is probably a really good piece of meat in every garbage can outside of a restaurant…but that does not mean that I should go digging through the garbage when instead I could walk inside and get a complete meal.
People who truly embrace grace will be quick to offer that grace to others…and a critic who always wants to attack and tear down through any means possible is nothing more than a terrorist that, if you allow them, will consume your life and get you off mission.
Ignore them! Listen to those who love Jesus, love the church and love you…you can’t go wrong there!