Loneliness Is A Bitch
It hits me like a misty fog after an early morning rain every single time I open the door of my apartment..
...loneliness.
Its tough because, as you spend time with her (loneliness) she literally sabotages your mind and takes your thoughts down a path dominated by darkness.
- "You did this to yourself!"
- "You never had real friends!"
- "No one actually wants to be around you!"
- "You can never trust anyone again."
If you've been here you know what's next...
You run through all of the situations that led to where you are...
- ...you blame others...
- ...you blame yourself...
- ...you ask questions...
- ...and sometimes you cry!
You can find temporary relief from the loneliness with television or social media - but - it just does not fill the void we have for interaction with other human beings.
One of the things I've always believed is Jesus never wastes our pain, and my season of struggling with this is teaching me so much...things such as...
1 - "All We Need Is Jesus" is a lie!
I know it sounds really awesome, get's a few "amen's" and looks incredible on a coffee mug--but it's not true.
The best evidence of this is, well, JESUS!
If all we needed was Jesus - then Jesus would have isolated Himself from people during His earthly ministry...
...however, when we read the Gospels we always see the opposite.
- He's always asking people to follow Him.
- He's always hanging out with people who were nothing like Him.
- He's building an inner circle of close friends (Peter, James and John!)
If Jesus needed more than Jesus when He came to earth--then we do as well.
2 - Work Through The Hurt
One of the things I've learned in life is Jesus never wastes pain...
...He didn't in His own life as the pain of betrayal, abandonment and ultimately death led to THE foundational element of Christianity (the resurrection.)
Often times the temptation in isolation is to dive into self destructive behaviors; however, the temporary relief that doing so provides isn't worth the added weigh a person feels the next day.
Instead of avoiding the pain - hit it head on - and ask the Lord for wisdom NOW so the same mistakes will not be repeated later.
3 - Fight To Trust Again
Recently I was invited by a group of people to have lunch in downtown Greenville...
...everything in me screamed "NO"...
- "They will hurt you!"
- "They don't care about you!"
- "You can't trust people!"
However, instead of listening to the voice of loneliness, I fought hard to say "yes"...
...and it was one of the greatest days I've had in a long time.
I sat at a table with a great group of guys and gals - and we ate some great food, shared a tad of our stories and laughed (a lot!)
Everyone at the table had been wounded by something or someone in the past - but they also understood that wounds do not make us worthless - in many cases, after a time of healing...they make us stronger.
___________
When people ask me, "How are you doing," my answer 99% of the time is, "Better Than I Deserve!"
It's true!
I'm not at the place in life I dreamed I would be one day; however, things really could have been a lot worse.
I'm not entirely sure what the future holds for me, but I know I can't do life alone - and I'm super excited about the friendships that are beginning to develop in my life.
I can't do a thing about what has happened - and I cannot allow bitterness and anger to dominate my thinking in regards to who walked away...
...but I can choose to love...
...I can choose to trust...
...and I can choose to BE the best friend a person could have, knowing at the end of the day Jesus really does have the entire world in His hands--and He really is working out all things for the good.