I’m Not Responsible

Jan 25, 2006

I had a talk with a guy the other morning in the parking lot of the Y. I have seen some dudes who were hurting before—but this guy was broken…and not over anything he had done…but over something that a guy he was in the process of mentoring had done. He kept telling me, “I keep trying and trying and he just won’t get it…I am a failure.”

That’s when I had to step in & tell him that we are not responsible when other people make bad decisions.

I learned this lesson when I first went into the ministry. I remember the early days—doing the whole youth ministry thing…seeing teenagers come to church—we would go to camp—everyone would cry and say how they were going to live for Jesus…and that they MEANT IT this time…but deep in my heart I wondered how long things would last.

If you have been there then you know the story…we would come back and then one would start partying with their friends, another would get into a dating relationship with someone they had no business with…and I would hurt for them…and I took it personally—I felt like a failure so many times because of bad decisions that other people made.

(I am sure there might be a parent or two out there that struggles with this same thing!)

And then I heard a statement from someone…I am not sure who…but it was a Christian leader, and he told the people he was speaking to, “I am responsible TO you—but I am not responsible FOR you.”

I can’t tell you how that set me free!!!

As a leader, I am responsible TO the people I lead. I am responsible TO the people I have the privilege to speak in front of every Sunday at NewSpring. I MUST teach the truths of Scripture…I must study…I must prepare…I must do my part. I am responsible for all of those things…

...however…

I have finally came to grips that if someone hears sound doctrine and then chooses not to apply it…I am NOT responsible for that.

I can’t live everyone’s life for them—God knows I have enough trouble trying to live my own. I believe one of the biggest mistakes a Christian leader (or a parent) can make is when they lay it all out on the line & teach what is right and then take it personally and feel like a failure when someone goes against what is right.

We can tell people the right decision to make—but reality is we can’t make that decision for them. And that, my friend, does not make you a failure—it makes you a human being!

I am not sure if that helped anyone…but it did wonders for me!