Here are some things I would do…
- I would tell church leaders that “it’s not about the numbers!” That they should be more concerned with quality than quantity. I would make them take pride in the fact that they were reaching no one, and actually get them to criticize the people that are.
- I would convince church leaders that the quality of their worship services do not matter.
- I would tell Christians to not allow themselves to be polluted by the world, but rather to attack it consistently so that those who are in it would be driven further from the church.
- I would convince church leaders to DREAM SMALL! The last thing I would want would be people realizing that God is honored by people who really do believe that He can do the impossible! (Craig had an AWESOME post on this!)
- I would get the church to focus on politics, getting them to believe that they are doomed unless a particular political party holds office.
- I would make sure that those who believe in reformed theology and those who don’t hate each other; after all, if they fight with each other they have no time to fight me.
- I would tell bloggers that they are “just” and “right” by setting up websites that do nothing but attack other ministries and tear them down.
- I would tell pastors that it is perfectly acceptable to substitute ministry work for their personal walk with God; after all, He should understand.
- I would convince pastors and church leaders to focus on what other churches are doing “wrong,” thus taking the focus off of their church.
- I would tell churches that boycotting “secular” organizations is the most practical and effective way to reach the world.
- I would tell young church planters that they cannot teach Scripture, call for repentance or take an offering, for that would be offensive. (What I would not tell them is that the only people that ever offends are “Christians!”)
- I would get denominations to focus way more on inwards preferences and religious politics, allowing those who give the most money to call all the shots.
- I would tempt the church to focus on issues and not Jesus.
- I would tempt pastors to buy into the lie that things “will be better at the next church,” thus causing them to never dig roots in a community and build a great work for God.
- I would tell pastors to disguise their jealousy over other pastors with statements like, “I am really concerned with such and such church down the road,” OR, “what you don’t know about THAT church is…”
- I would make churches feel prideful in their particular Bible translation.
Those are just a few things…