She was 25 years old, in a physically abusive relationship and found out she was pregnant...
...and had NO IDEA what to do.
She did not feel safe going to the church; after all, she had seen how people who had been sexually active had been shamed (usually disguised as "church discipline") - and knew if she confessed to what she had done she would become an outcast.
She didn't feel safe going to her parents; after all, they "raised her better than that." (And deep down she knew her parents cared way more about their image at church than the actual hell she was going through.)
She knew abortion was wrong--but she felt trapped, suffocated by shame, religion and confusion - and so she made the choice to "terminate the pregnancy."
It's something she's never gotten over - it haunts her 'till this day, and every time she hears the abortion argument raised she feels waves of condemnation crash over her.
The deal is - I know this girl.
I've seen her wrestle through this - even though its been years since its taken place.
And so when I hear church people scream about abortion - my mind doesn't automatically go to Bible verses and pithy sayings, but rather how many women may have chosen a different path...if the church was known more for their compassion than their condemnation.
Maybe Planned Parenthood and the Democratic party are not to blame...
Maybe the church has responsibility as well!
HOWEVER - it's easy to criticize and condemn a group of people--it's much harder to actually sit down with someone, get to know their story and weep with them while they weep.
He is gay!
And - he's always been that way, at least that's what he told me.
He tried to be attracted to women - but - he just can't.
He been called a "fag" and a queer" most of his life (from...people who claim to be Christians.)
But - he's finally comfortable with his sexuality--and really does love Jesus.
"But how can a person be gay and love Jesus," you ask?
Well - how can a person be fat and love Jesus?
As I read about the seven deadly sins found in Scripture - gluttony is listed, abortion and homosexuality are not.
What if the church became as passionate about eradicating gluttony as they are abortion or homosexuality? (Obesity, if not dealt with, will eventually bankrupt our health care system.)
"Wait Perry," you may say, "I know people who are overweight - and when they read what you have written they will feel bad."
Exactly!
You KNOW someone who wrestles with weight - and you feel bad for them. (Even though it actually is listed as a sin in the Bible!)
What if you were actually friends with someone who is gay, or trans, or who has had an abortion--I would argue you would feel the same.
(AND--let me pause and say--PLEASE don't come at me with the whole, "Genetically predisposed to be obese" argument...because - doing so would be hypocritical. BECAUSE...when someone claims that people are genetically predisposed to be homosexual--"Christians" say, "no way!" So - genetics cannot be an excuse for one issue and not be given the same treatment in all other areas.)
If you've read this as a pro abortion, pro homosexual post - you've missed the point.
It's no a pro anything- it's an "anti-jackass" post.
When people outside the church see the church yelling about issues rather than loving people--well, it's no freaking wonder a new study comes out nearly every month talking about the fact that church attendance is declining in America.
We've been so obsessed about being correct - that we've lost our sense of compassion, and, in a sense the church "gained the world" (look at the Moral Majority of the 80's and 90's) - and lost our soul.
We've got to get back to the essence of Jesus - to the fact He said we would be known by the way we LOVE one another (not by our boycotts and protests!)
We've got to sit down and talk with people who are "practicing the sin" we may despise - and do so for the purpose of understanding where they come from rather than changing their minds.
The more I read about Jesus - the more I am certain He is a God of unconditional love and radical grace - not hate filled sayings and the leader of the "moral elite!"
The Lord has really humbled me over the past three years - and has actually used some of the very people I used to look down on to show me more love and compassion than I could have ever imagined.
And my prayer for me personally and the church I am privileged to pastor is we will always care more about people and their individual stories rather than putting people in categories, demonizing their behavior and then forcing them to "pay the price"--the price Jesus has already paid.