We have a young staff at NewSpring, and one day after spending time with some of our singles, I began brainstorming the top temptations I see single people struggle through when considering a relationship…
#1 - Compromise! Hands down this is the first temptation, and I would argue that girls deal with this way more often than guys. She begins wanting “Mr. Right” but will settle for “Mr. Right Now” if she perceives that all of her friends are getting married and she is not. God has NEVER called His followers to compromise…EVER!!! And ladies, if you are constantly having the defend the guy you are dating, that's a sure sign that you are compromising.
ALSO. ladies, if he is not pursuing you in a godly manner (which means he is not constantly trying to stick his hands down your pants) then drop him!
#2 - Believing That Marriage Will Solve The Struggles You Are Facing While Dating! Marriage is a magnifier, and if it is a small deal when you are dating then I promise it will be a BIG HONKIN’ deal after you tie the knot!
#3 - Going Too Fast! Anyone can fool anyone for a short period of time! You need to date someone “until the new wears off!” If two people are in a hurry to get married then it is usually because they are trying to hide something from the other person or because they just want to have sex!
#4 - Trying To Be The Person That The Person They Are Dating Wants Them To Be Rather Than Who They Are - If you are having to lie about who you are to date someone, then you need to break up today! Ladies, DO NOT SAY you love football and want to go to games with him if you don’t know the difference between the offense and the defense. Dudes, DO NOT SAY you absolutely LOVE chick flicks and want to watch them for hours if doing so drives you crazy! If you are doing things you HATE to do but have refused to be honest and tell the other person the truth, then you are being dishonest with them and therefore unfair to them.
#5 - Seeking Advice And/OR Affirmation From The Wrong People! Single people, please, if you want marriage/dating advice, then go to people who are actually married and have been for a long time! Why in the world would you ask a single person for marriage advice? Why would you ask someone who has literally blown through relationship after relationship how to have a relationship? Because they read a book? Because they know some Bible verses? REALLY? If you want to know how to have a successful relationship…ask the people who have them.