How It Feels When People Leave—Part Two

Finally, I am ready to complete this post…it has been fun developing this—even though people leaving is often painful—today I think I can smile as I post about three more reasons.

#4 - “New Spring Hates Children.”

Our church is unique in the fact that we do not allow children into our main worship service. (Our cut off age is 10—although we strongly encourage 5th grade & under to participate in the programs specifically designed for them.) Because of this aspect of our vision we have had people become upset, quote Scripture about Jesus saying to bring the children to Him, and then storm out of our church.

The fact is NewSpring LOVES kids—and that is why we refuse to partner with parents who wish to teach their kids that church is boring and irrelevant. It is true that Jesus said to bring the kids to Him…and that is why we spare no expense when it comes to preparing a creative & relevant message for kids that they can understand because it is on their level.

Some parents object, claiming that they want their family to “experience worship together.” I try to explain to parents that listening to me speak while their kids play with toys or color in a coloring book is not worshipping together—it’s teaching their kids that they do not matter to God until they get older. (By the way parents—if you really want to worship together as a family, you have six others days in the week to do so—and if you are not living a lifestyle of worship & then try to come in and “fake it” on Sunday…let me promise you that your kid is not buying it!!!)

Our staff remembers what it was like to go to church as a child—we hated it (and if you would be honest—you did as well!) So we try our best to make sure that kids love church—and we understand that the best way to do that is to NOT bring them into a place where everything that takes place is irrelevant to their lives.

Parents have left over this; however, the overwhelming majority of the parents at NewSpring love it because they can worship in a very non-distracting environment—and their kids can learn about Jesus and have fun @ the same time.

By the way—have you ever been in a service where a kid “freaked out?” Not only was it distracting for the parent—but everyone around them as well…and if the pastor says anything about it then he is the bad guy. We do our best to make sure that there are no distractions so that the Gospel can be clearly understood by all.

#5 - “Perry, you are just not deep enough.”

This one has always confused me because I have yet to meet a person who, when saying this, can actually define what deep is!

For most people, “deep” is not being able to clearly understand something…and then leaving church in some sort of confused manner. I tell people that if that is what they are looking for then they NEED to leave.

It has always been my goal as a communicator to put the cookies on the bottom shelf so that everyone can reach them. I may not be the most intellectual person in the world; however, people coming to NewSpring can grasp what I am trying to communicate instead of wondering about it.

By the way…I heard it said best by a fellow pastor, “Deep is what you do.” I agree…it doesn’t matter how much of the Bible you know—for that matter Satan KNOWS a lot of Scripture—it is how much you apply! So when people tell me they want to go “deep” I ask them are they tithing or what area of the church they are serving in…surely if a person is “deep” they would be doing the most basic of Scriptural commands.

#6 - “I can’t come to NewSpring anymore because you hate cats.”

I am not making this up—there have actually been people who said this…and they refuse to come back.

I do not apologize for this…I do hate cats…and spare me your e-mails about how your cats are cool…they are not. They are all creatures from the pit of hell. I am convinced that if your cat were larger than you that he would eat you!!!

So I make cat jokes when I preach…and this has offended a couple of people. So once a person asked me, “Shouldn’t you not make fun of cats?” My answer took him back, “No, I will continue to make fun of them.” The reason for saying this is because as a speaker I am going to make someone upset about something no matter what I say.

Pastors—you are going to be misunderstood…you are going to say things that set certain people off. I had a guy tell me once that some people left his church over the fact that he wore a blue dress shirt instead of a white one…and that was a sure sign that he was beginning to be liberal.

I am misunderstood and misquoted every week—but if I began choosing my words over who might & might not get offended…well, I would probably have to stop preaching.

People will leave your church…and it will hurt. They will misquote you and misrepresent what you say in public—BUT stay true to the vision—stay true to your calling—to what God has called you to do…and you will reach a lot more people than you lose.