Three Truths To Keep In Mind When Trying To Resolve Conflict—Part Two
#2 - Be Honest!
One of the things I will do from time to time in a meeting is address the tension that exists in the room. (Isn’t it funny how tension always makes its presence known?)
One of the drawbacks of working with people you actually like is that no one wants to hurt another person’s feelings…and so they hold back from saying what is really on their mind…
WHICH is, in my opinion, one of the worse things a person can do who has been called to serve in any sort of leadership capacity!
The team that I serve with has purposefully created a “say what needs to be said” environment. Yes, we do love one another…but each one of us has made a commitment to never put personal feelings over our calling to lead!
I have often said when introducing an idea to the group, “Guys, this is what I am thinking…but in order for this to work I need your unfiltered feedback…don’t hold back!”
At times I wished I hadn’t asked for that…but because people on our team do not hold back…I never have to wonder what people were REALLY thinking about an idea.
One more thing about this…if a person holds back from saying what they are really thinking…they will begin to build resentment towards a person and their ideas…even the good ones. It is SO IMPORTANT that teams be honest at all times with each other…because I’ve seen people EXPLODE over petty issues that were nothing more than weeks, even months of built up frustration over not saying what they were really thinking.
OK…I lied, I just had one more thought…I have discovered that when I hold back that I will often times build up assumptions in my mind that I believe the other person believes (usually negative towards me,) which will also lead to bitterness and divisiveness.
SO…my challenge to any team is…say what needs to be said! AND…to the team I serve with…THANKS for not holding back! God’s Kingdom has never been advanced by wimpy men whose biggest desire was to make everyone feel OK and whose biggest desire was to experience warm fuzzies together!