Discipleship

Pain and Progress

Nov 18, 2008

Yesterday was November 17th…

That date may not mean a lot to you…but yesterday marked the 26th anniversary of the passing away of my mother.

It doesn’t seem like it was that long ago…time flies!  It seems like I blinked and I had graduated high school, finished college, gotten married, planted NewSpring and had a child!!!

Life is short…and, in my opinion MUST BE LIVED to the most extreme level of passion that is possible.

As I look back on the passing of my mother I cannot help but think about the pain I felt when I knew she was gone.  It hurt—DEEPLY—and I was VERY angry at God; after all, He COULD have healed her and He didn’t.  She was only 49 years old…I was 12…I needed her!!!

BUT…He chose to take her…and I was bitter…for YEARS and, as a result rebelled against Him.  BUT…it’s a funny thing…as I look back over my life and all of the time I spend running from Him I now realize that He was right beside me…step by step…whispering to my heart to trust Him because He knew what He was doing.

One night I had had enough…and I yelled out, “GOD—YOU COULD HAVE HEALER HER—WHY DIDN’T YOU?”

And He answered, “I did—you should see her now!  She no longer has cancer.  She is no longer in pain.  She is no longer fighting to breath.  Her skin is no longer pale.  She’s beautiful—she’s here with me—and she’s better now than she’s ever been!!!”

It hit me like a ton of bricks in that moment…I am SO OFTEN caught up in my world…and when something comes along that brings me pain or discomfort…I become angry.

But…even in my greatest pain He has a plan…He’s still God…He STILL REIGNS and knows exactly what He’s doing!!!

Do I miss my mother?  Yep!  I miss her smile!  I miss her encouragement.  I miss her hugs.  I miss riding in the car with her and listening to really bad country music…

BUT…I trust the Lord.  I know He took her because her time was through…and I know He will take me when mine is through as well…and because of that…I want to live my life to the extreme and literally die with no regrets!!!

My mother was awesome!  Strike that…my mother IS AWESOME!  She is as alive right now as she has ever been!  God knew what He was doing…He always does!!!

Thank You Jesus for the 12 years I had with an amazing lady.  Thank You that she took me to church.  Thank You that I saw her every morning reading Your Word.  Thank You that she modeled hard work.  Thank You that she showed me how to love other people.  AND…thank You that she is now with You…seeing things that my mind cannot comprehend…and that I will one day be able to see for myself!  You are an AWESOME GOD!!!  Help me to live life to the fullest!

Oh yeah…if your mother is still alive…you should go see her…or at least call her and thank her for all the things she did for you!  It takes a special person to be a mother…I should know…mine

was

is awesome!!!