My Message To Charisse - 7 Things I Think You Should Know (Part Two)
So…continuing the thoughts from this post...
#3 - I Love This Church
Some points I hit here were…
- I told her, “Charisse, it is the year 2019 when you are watching this—and we are getting ready to celebrate our 20th anniversary in the Bi-Lo center in Greenville—and we are going to have to have around 15 services to accommodate the 150,000 to 200,000 people who are going to attend.”
- I also told her that MOST people at NewSpring believed that was going to happen (as was evidenced by the number of people who applauded) but that some did not—and that they were not at our church anymore…OR that they left and came because they finally discovered that the church was not supposed to be an inward focused organization where “everybody knows everybody,” that the body of Christ was more than a stained glass fortress with a steeple…that we are supposed to be about reaching people!!!
- I told the church that I LOVE the church—that I eat, sleep and breathe NewSpring—BUT…that the church will NEVER come before my family!
- I told Charisse, “When it comes to choosing between your birthday party and a church event—YOU WIN! When it comes between your soccer game and a church event—YOU WIN! I can get another church but I can never get another you!” (By the way—when I said this our entire church applauded!)
- Recently I had a couple ask me, “How are you going to prevent your kids from being the typical pastors kid?” I replied, “I am going to be there for her. You see, most pastors spend all their time with everyone’s children except for their own…and that just isn’t going to be me!”
- I then talked about how most men DIVE into a career and leave their family behind. Men will work themselves into a frenzy and then say, “I just want to give my children all the things I never had,” when what he really truly never had was a father who was THERE…and that is all he ever wanted.
- Psalm 127:3 says children are a reward from the Lord—and you treat a reward with great honor…you don’t stick it in the corner and buy it something every once in a while to make it shut up!
- Men, we will be held accountable one day BY GOD as to how we led our families…and you can’t lead something if you are not spending time with it!!!
#4 - I Will Always Love Your Mother!
Some key points here were…
- The story of how I pursued Lucretia for two years before she even agreed to GO OUT WITH ME! AND…how it was worth every single minute. (And I would do it all again!)
- I didn’t say this—but I should have—single guys…I pursued her because she never told me “no—get away from me you creep!” We prayed through this together. If you are “pursuing” a girl and she avoids you, changes her number and has taken out a restraining order against you then you are NOT being “persistent,” but rather A FREAK and should STOP IT!!!!
- The Bible says in Proverbs 22:6 that a child is going to GO one day. I told Charisse that I knew she would one day leave the house…and that when that happened I didn’t want to look at Lucretia and say, “Now who are you?”
- I’ve seen the mistake so many times…the kid arrives and the woman pours into the child while the dad pours into the career…and the family falls completely apart.
- I think that men should be responsible for elevating the romance in a home—men, what you did to get her, do the same to keep her. Stop being freakin’ lazy—PURSUE YOUR WIFE!!! This means…
- Have a date night…a night where you leave your “batman utility belt” with all of your devices that enslave you to your job in the car…and you go to a restaurant and talk to your wife!!!
- Ladies—it means you do not call the babysitter ever 10 minutes to check on the kid!!! Talk to your husband.
- I heard a friend of mine say once, “You can pay the babysitter now or the divorce lawyers later!” Ouch!
- Will your child cry when you leave? Probably—it’s a great chance to “disciple” your child about how the world does not revolve around them!!!
- I also told Charisse that once a year Lucretia and I are going to go on a really nice vacation somewhere—WITHOUT HER!!! I said, “You see Charisse—we really want you to have a little brother or sister one day…” :-)
- Dads—the BEST THING you can do in order to provide security for your home is LOVE YOUR WIFE!!!
- This is sad…very sad, because many men have abandoned their families…I heard a stat today that 40% of kids go to bed each night in a home WITHOUT a father. Men, this is hard—it takes GUTS…that is why a lot of men BAIL OUT…they are the little boys that refused to grow up—LOVE your wife…spend time with your kids!!!