A Challenge To The Ladies

I received an e-mail either yesterday or the day before from a lady who said that she had really been enjoying the challenge I have issued to the men; however, she also said that she was nervous about what I was going to say regarding women. :-)

Relax…I do feel led to offer a few Scriptural recommendations…but it hopefully will not be in the same tone as it was with the men. I have learned that women and men are wired completely different…and you can say challenging things to women…but if it isn’t said in the correct way the words will bounce off & they will not receive them.

Ladies—in my message this past Sunday I forgot a KEY POINT that my wife and I had discussed several weeks ago. I made the point that Adam had a relationship with God…and that this was the first relationship he had…but did you know the same was true for Eve? In Genesis chapter two God put Adam to sleep and took a rib and made Eve—so, when Eve was completed Adam was still sleeping—that means that the very first relationship Eve had on this planet was with God.

I still say that if a woman is to be a good wife then she has to have an intimate relationship with Jesus—there’s just not a way around that. I know that time is a factor when you figure work, kids, the house…however, as I said to the men—it is an issue of importance…and the most important thing your husband needs is for you to be in love with Jesus.

Now to this next point…take a deep breath…it will get a little tense here.

Eve’s first relationship was with God. Eve’s second relationship was with…her…HUSBAND and not her CHILDREN! (More on this in a minute—I just wanted to point that out for now.)

Women, just like I challenged the men to invest time into their spouse—the same is true for you. One of the things that men desire more than anything else in the world is to be respected, especially by the woman that they are in love with. (God is so smart—He mentions that in Ephesians 5:33)

Men also like to be told “how good they are” at certain things, they like to have you build up their ego. Unfortunately though many wives neglect this need that their husbands have & go the total opposite direction…they tear him down. Let me be very clear ladies—there is not a man on the planet that wants to come home to an environment where he is criticized and condemned…where he is constantly reminded of the things that he is NOT doing well…where he is constantly told when he can’t seem to fix something, “Well, I’ll just call my dad—HE can fix it!”

This is also why many men prefer to be at the office…to work late. They want to be around people who build them up…and if they are not getting that at home then they will not desire to spend a lot of time there.

Men long for affirmation…and their wife should be their number one source. Ladies—let me be clear on this—men will find affirmation somewhere. AND if they are not getting it from you then I promise there is some little tramp out there that will build him up. (That is not justification for a man leaving his wife—it is merely a reason!)

So ladies—when was the last time you thanked your husband…for anything? For balancing the checkbook, for taking out the trash, for mowing the yard—for WORKING hard? Once again, men LONG for this!

I believe it is the woman’s job to create an atmosphere of respect in their home for the husband. But once again I have seen that there are so many children that do not respect their father…and the PRIMARY reason is that the mother is always openly declaring how stupid her husband is and how lazy he has became—right in front of them!

After Adam & Eve…well…they had babies. That was third—but it seems in today’s society that many women put their children before their husband. Women, let me be very clear—the Bible says that children are a gift from God—but the Bible also teaches that one day your children are going to LEAVE…and then it is you & him again…and if you have neglected him for around 20 years then what does that relationship look like?

I have seen women who refuse to have a date night with their husband because they don’t want to leave the children…this communicates to the man, “You and your needs are no longer important to me.” I have seen women who cannot have a meal with the family because little Tommy doesn’t like what has been prepared for supper…and so the dad eats while mom fixes little Tommy whatever he wants.

Let me say this before moving on…children have became little gods in our society! I can honestly say that if I had not approved of my mother’s menu selection when I was a child that I would have gone to bed hungry! But not in today’s world…children are worshipped. (And if you are becoming angry with me as you read this—its probably because I am speaking against your “god!”)

Don’t get me wrong—children are not to be neglected—they are a gift—they are too be loved, taught, cared for…but the wife is not to neglect her husband in order to take care of the kids—its just not Biblical.

One more thing ladies…openly communicate with your husband. It is up to him to create an atmosphere of vulnerability…but it is up to you to be honest…and so when he asks you is something wrong and you say “nothing” when something really is…that makes you liar. He cannot read your mind…and most of the time hints do not work either. If he comes home and finds supper in the trash he will get the hint that you are angry—he just might need some help as to the specifics.

That’s about it for now—maybe more tomorrow—maybe not…I’ll ask you ladies—anything you think I forgot to mention?